What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
