you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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