$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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