I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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