I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
