she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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