..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
