We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
