I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
