Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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