just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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