I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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