Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
