Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
