Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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