quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
