First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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