Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
