He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
