It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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