How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
