I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
