I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she woke up with a sticky ear
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize