I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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