in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We need to get me chipped asap
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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