what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
