oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
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2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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