I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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