I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
