White coat. Heels.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
