Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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