if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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