I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize