i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
