There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
