What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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