Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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