she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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