just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
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I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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