We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
