I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
