my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
