whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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