After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
