this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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