I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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