just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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