I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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