we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
