Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
