I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
