so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
