Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
did you just send me my own nude
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
