Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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