i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
