Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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