so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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