I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Houston, we have a squirter
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.