I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
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She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.