That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
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Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.