It's Friday. Sex?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want to make out with him forever
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!