; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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