so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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